And I bite the dust again!!!

Huh!!!! Yet another Sunday and it went kaput again. It is hit a all time low now. Little wonder then that I have started feeling if I should be writing CAT at all. As if the poor score is not enough, it has happened after I was at home for one ful week. What's happening? The dicussion forums seem to echo my feelings but then evertone there seems to have fared quite better than me. I dont even feel like revealing my score . Oh.. Life seems to be such a pain! :(:(:(

Just because !

"You should have done a BA or some Mass communication course. A Btech (and that too in Computer Science and that too at a premier institute) was pehaps not the right thing for you." Huh!!!! I have heard enough of this. Gimme a break , folks. Itz my life and what I do and what I dont is "My wish". That's what I thought today when one of freshers at office turned a preacher.
I wouldn't take it even from my boss. And this guy...? I just threw a smile at him and and then turned back to the screen that demanded my attention. I do know that I am made for something else , something else other than software.Hmm... hey just wait .. no ambivalence here. But then I have the conviction that I will be able to manage any kind of work, especially the kind of work that I get to do in office now. Mind you, it is not just a belief or feeling that I am talking about but a conviction. So I hate it when people consider me a nothing at work and start preaching me and let out the " Why a software engineer??" expression. Just beacause I dole out a couple of shayaris and mails doesnt mean that I am not good at work. Just because I take the intiative for team parties and collection funds doesn't mean I cant work. Just because I roam around with that childish grin doesnt mean that I wont be able to manage my tasks. I have always been sincere with my work. In fact I have been doing my bit quite comfortably in the last couple of months. Agreed!!! I dont have the passion or zeal to go through the acrobats neither do I have the patience to go through the entire program. I sometimes turn a deaf ear to my colleagues discussing work ( which according to them is very interesting). But then at the end of the day I do my work and yeah I am enjoying doing this - Doing just what is required. I am not going to do it forever so why the heck should I force myself to be passionate about it.
I care a damn for those who assume things about me. And at the moment I have better things to do. I wrote for myself expecting that this would give me the much needed drive . 15 mins left in this day and the next 9 days are going to be absolutely crucial for me. Make or break. I need to break now to make it .

"Thy name is Kidoredo"

Kidoredo!!!Does it sound weird?? No, it shouldn't. In fact there should be some kind of dejavu when one hears the word "Kidoredo" for the first time. Kidoredo draws inspiration from the famous cartoon character "FidoDedo". I dont know what Fidodedo means but Kidoredo has a reason for being named Kidoredo. My friends, who know me well consider me immature. They say that I am a kid, who acts instinctively without any kind of thought process. One of my friends calls me a "kido". I liked it , fell in love with it and hence Kido. Now what about Redo? Before anything else, let me ge the pronunciation of this word spot on. Redo is supposed to be pronounced as "Red" followed by the word "o" and not as one would proounce the word "redo". ( as in doing something again). Redo has something to do with the word "Red". Well, red is not my favourite color neither do I have any kind of hidden violent triats in me. Red happens to be a part of the name Raymod Red. Raymond Red, is supposed to be the mordern day equivalent of Sigmund Freud( my goodness, I am in full flow- Red at his best) . Sigmund Freud explained the "Crush" phenomenon, Raymond Red deals with some kind of a similiar thing known as a "Blush".

A Mid night evolution???

So it's almost 12:00 am now and I having read the blogs of one of my juniors in college just about 10 mins ago, decide to start my own version. Right now I have this feeling that I have turned the tide. May be I will be writing a lot regularly ( and yeah meaningfully from now on). May be I will know what exactly I am supposed to do in life ( hey ,I always had a fair hint .. but then I am confused). May be this is just the kind of kick-start that I need in life. All signs of a Mid-night evolution.!!!!
There are some things in life like office work which I dont bother too much about because that was something I wasn't too interested about them. But then when I need to goad myself to study for CAT , I sometimes wonder what exactly am I passionate about in life? All this considering the fact that I reckoned myself to be best suited for management.

Writing!!!! I do a lot of it. Hmmm.. quite a lot of it but then it is all in the mind. I am lazy to put it on paper or blog about it. I just wish there was some kind of tool which would put all the words in my mind ( or is it the heart) in the form of blog. Height of laziness this!

Huh!!!! Do I write ? or do I crib? To get started guess I need to crib. But I keep telling myself all along " Dont' be upset that you did'nt do it soo long , be happy that you have started atleast now". So then , I have started.